Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize