it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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