seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
