Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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