found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
