so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
