You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
