she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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