Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want to be your penis for a week.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
