I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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