So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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