I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
