I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
