I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
