its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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