I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
