I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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