New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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