Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
