god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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