Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
