STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
two words...techno handjob
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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