Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
