take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
