Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
