Kiss
Puke
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
