But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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