I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
