is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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