You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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