I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
