I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
