Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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