He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize