I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
