conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
