she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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