well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love having hate sex.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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