Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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