New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
