the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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