someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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