Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
