He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
