The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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