hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
