I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
PANTIES FOUND
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