drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
