I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
