Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
