he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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