I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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