How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There's always time for handjobs
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
