oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
