he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
