if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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