he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
