Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
