Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
