Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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